The Many Parts of Self
Unveiling the Layers Within and Exploring the Complexities of Returning to Wholeness
In essence, there are no bad parts; rather, there are wounded parts in need of healing and integration.
One of the most radical notions I started to consider was that everything God created was good. I knew it logically; I could cite verses and dig into the contextual aspects, but truly believing that—an experiential and embodied belief—just didn’t exist for me. This juxtaposing idea actually started to turn my world upside down, in the most beautiful and clarifying ways. In the social and religious groups I grew up in, there was this same thought that yes, everything God made was good but then it morphed and it became an ongoing narrative of duality, good and bad, black and white, sinner vs. saved, but yet, still sinner. There is so much there.
I understand the delicate nature of these topics all too well. I speak from the depths of my own experiences and narratives. Know that these words are filled with love as you read them because that love respects and acknowledges the individual journeys that each person has taken as a result of their life experiences.
Unpacking Parts
Consider a child who, at five, grapples with profound loneliness after losing a beloved pet, or a teenager who feels abandoned following an abrupt relationship ending. These experiences, buried within the subconscious, shape our behavior and perception of the world. These parts of self, hidden within, we call them exiles. They carry the burden of unprocessed emotions and traumatic experiences from the past, often leading to feelings of shame, unworthiness, or isolation.
In the exploration of our inner world, we uncover a profound truth: there isn't just one inner child; there are as many as are not integrated. Each of these inner children carries its own story, its own wounds, and its own cries for healing. They are the exiled parts of ourselves, yearning to be seen, heard, and embraced. As we navigate the labyrinth of our subconscious, we encounter these fragmented aspects, each with its own tale of pain and longing. It's a journey of deep empathy and compassion as we tenderly hold space for each inner child, acknowledging their presence and honoring their stories.
In response to these inner wounds, other parts of Self emerge to maintain balance—managers and protectors. Managers are the parts of oneself that attempt to maintain control and keep things in order. They might engage in behaviors like planning, organizing, and setting goals in an effort to prevent further pain or chaos. However, some maladaptive behaviors associated with managers can include perfectionism, where the individual sets impossibly high standards for themselves and others, leading to chronic stress, self-criticism, and dissatisfaction with their achievements.
Meanwhile, firefighters are the parts of oneself that respond reactively in times of crisis or distress. They are the ones who jump into action to extinguish emotional fires by engaging in behaviors like substance abuse, self-harm, or other impulsive actions. While these coping mechanisms may offer temporary relief, they ultimately stem from a place of deep-seated pain and a desperate need for self-preservation.
Both managers and firefighters are present-day parts that are simply trying to keep Self alive, but again, the means to do so are what become so easily judged. It's crucial to recognize that these parts, though they may manifest in ways that society deems as negative or undesirable, are acting out of a primal instinct for survival and protection.
Inner Narratives
And as we contemplate the interplay of these internal dynamics, we're drawn to the sobering reality of how these intricate mechanisms unfold in real life. Consider this hypothetical scenario: an individual who has never explored the intricacies of their narrative, inner world, or parts is now an adult grappling with chronic anxiety surrounding relationships. They find themselves drowning in a sea of depression, anxiety, excessive drinking, binge eating, and habitual lying. In a society steeped in dualistic thinking, we might be quick to label and judge, prescribing rigid solutions to complex inner struggles. But the truth is far more nuanced.
This individual isn't in need of condemnation or judgement; rather, they're yearning for a compassionate understanding of their internal landscape and of their access to a Kingdom within. They don't need to annihilate parts of themselves but to come alive within their flesh, within their Self. What they truly need is connection—to themselves, to their inner parts, to the heart of what God made good within them. It's a journey of self-discovery, of learning to differentiate between subconscious impulses and conscious choices, and ultimately, of coming home to Self, where integration and healing await.
Walking in Awareness
So now we have this awareness that there are many parts within and that if there has not been any inner work or integration, there is a chance that one may not be operating out of wholeness, or Self.
In essence, there are no bad parts; rather, there are wounded parts in need of healing and integration. By embracing all aspects of ourselves with compassion and acceptance, we can embark on a journey of self-discovery and inner transformation, leading to greater wholeness, authenticity, and inner peace.
I like to think of it like this: just as Jesus left the 99 sheep to find the one lost sheep, so too can we embrace all the parts of ourselves, including the wounded and exiled ones. Jesus' message of love and acceptance extends to every aspect of our being, inviting us to acknowledge and integrate all parts of ourselves, knowing that each one is worthy of love and compassion. In the journey of self-discovery and healing, we can find solace in the understanding that no part of us is beyond redemption or unworthy of grace.
Path to Wholeness
What if the path to wholeness, to embracing our true essence, resides in the recognition that there are no 'bad' parts within us? What if, in acknowledging the inherent goodness woven into the fabric of our being, we unlock the door to profound healing and integration? Let us journey towards the holiness of wholeness, where every facet of our being is revered, honored, and embraced in its entirety.
So much more to come.
Written with love,
Lillie
Questions to Consider:
Reflect on your own experiences: What past experiences or traumas might be influencing your subconscious behaviors and perceptions?
How do you differentiate between subconscious impulses and conscious choices in your daily life?
What are some maladaptive behaviors or coping mechanisms you've noticed in yourself, and what do you think might be the underlying emotional or psychological drivers?
Are there parts of yourself that you've been avoiding or suppressing? What might be the benefits of exploring and integrating these parts?
How can you cultivate greater self-compassion and acceptance toward all aspects of yourself, including the parts that may feel wounded or fragmented?
Practical Strategies:
Journaling: Set aside time for reflective journaling to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Use prompts such as "What subconscious patterns am I noticing in my behavior?" or "How can I show compassion to my inner wounded parts?"
Mindfulness Practices: Incorporate mindfulness meditation or body scan exercises into your daily routine to increase awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. Mindfulness can help you identify subconscious patterns and bring them into conscious awareness.
Therapeutic Support: Consider seeking therapy or counseling to explore your internal dynamics with the guidance of a trained professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to unpack past traumas, understand subconscious patterns, and work towards healing and integration.
Inner Child Work: Engage in inner child work exercises to connect with and nurture your inner wounded parts. Visualizations, letter writing, and dialogue techniques can help you develop a compassionate relationship with these vulnerable aspects of yourself.
Self-Reflection Practices: Set aside regular time for self-reflection and introspection. Ask yourself probing questions about your beliefs, values, and behaviors, and be open to exploring uncomfortable or challenging emotions that arise.
So timely. This is a great piece friend! Love it!
Just reposted this. Thank you for these deep and encouraging thoughts.